So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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