If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
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Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
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I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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