So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize