so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
