I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
