just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
