i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
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my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
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You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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