Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
