Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
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