maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize