Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
