I cockslap morals
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
