Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
