You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Randomize