i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize