arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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