I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
