dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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