It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
