If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
