So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
and she was petting her beer can
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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