i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
