she woke up with a sticky ear
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
