I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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