Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
