dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You've changed since you got that strap on
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
