My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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