i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
