Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Dicks are not precious.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
