I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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