Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
