He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
