Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
