; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I am available for nakedness
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
