He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
