So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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