those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
