Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
