wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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