The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
