so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
