I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
