Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
