She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize