So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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