Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
