he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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