i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...