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babies were throwing up all over the place
I could make wine with my vomit
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
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