i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Dick very happy bro
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