he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight