Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are