What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
