What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
