The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
