hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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