I think i peed on brittanys purse
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
