just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
