So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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