i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
