im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
