I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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