I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
